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Is it possible to be thankful to HIV for who you are today?

1 | November | 2011
Stevie

It's quite possible, though I'd say it a little differently. I have been awakened to and learned so much because of the struggles that have occurred due to HIV (and many other adverse conditions I've experienced), that I can definitely see how it has been a great benefit to me in my life.

One of the most profound issues that HIV helped me confront and eventually resolve was a deep level of resigned depression. I was sad and disconnected from the possibility of having joy in my life for a long time. In fact, at the time I learned I was HIV positive, I was on a pathway to ending my life. However, I was reawakened to how precious life really was and how important it was for me to find help for whatever made me confused and emotionally disconnected. This realization led me to finally get help for depression and deal with this whole HIV thing.

Since getting that help I have begun to focus more, take my medication, exercise regularly and eat health consciously. All of these efforts result in having a much better life and probably me being the happiest I've ever been.

Comments

Submitted by Ralph S. (not verified) on November | 15 | 2011.

Miss you Stevan and miss the campaign but I am always so glad to hear that you are doing well. You have always been an inspirational person in my life. Be well and Happy Holidays...

Submitted by Stevan (not verified) on November | 22 | 2011.

Ralph, I miss you, too! Thanks for reaching out and please remember that your presence is still felt and energizes this campaign. You have made a huge difference. . .at least for me! Happy Holidaze to you and your wonderful family.

Submitted by Chris (not verified) on December | 12 | 2011.

Steve you inspire me more then you know. Thanks for being my friend..much love!!

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Stevan Gaskill, the oldest of four and a native of Detroit, Michigan, comes from a family that supports independent thinking and unconditional love. Growing up, he pursued intellectual and artistic interests, finding self-expression in music, theater, writing, photography and dance.

Having lived with HIV for nearly 20 years and recovering from years of depression, his path of personal growth led him to Los Angeles in 1995 and then Oakland in 2006, where he has continued to deepen and share his views on empowerment through the development of self-awareness, self-esteem and self-confidence.

Stevan was a spokesmodel for Better World Advertising's HIV education campaign in West Hollywood, CA, for a while before becoming a monthly columnist for the organization's online newsletter. His monthly column "Black (and Poz) Like Me" delves into subjects germane to people from all walks of life: sex, sexuality, spirituality, racial and gender issues and other social concerns.

Stevan's love for people and for contributing to society's growth is due in large part to his parents' love and wisdom. He draws from studies and experiences with diverse religions and perspectives, including Christianity, Buddhism, Taoism, Miguel Ruiz (Four Agreements), Marianne Williamson (Return to Love), Landmark Education Corporation's Forum and Curriculum for Living and the "awakening" brought on by his HIV infection. Stevan is the main contributor for the blog "Fo Yo Nerves" at http:/fyn.blakout.net.