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Is it possible to be thankful to HIV for who you are today?

1 | November | 2011
Shawn

I used to raise my eyebrow slightly whenever I heard a long-termer suggest that HIV was the best thing to ever happen to them. At face value, I couldn't comprehend the depth of such an assertion, and when I was younger I figured it was just another way of saying that the glass is always half full. Now, as I ponder the question of being thankful to HIV, I have to take stock of the things that I am thankful for every day; chief among them is the wisdom that an early HIV diagnosis in my life has brought me.

Being kicked out of school at age 11 for testing positive for HIV taught me a valuable lesson about discrimination. As a white, middle-class kid, without HIV could I have ever understood the subtle sexism and racism that continues to haunt our society? Sure, I could have arrived at my humanity without HIV- I know lots of well-balanced, socially conscious negatoids (people without HIV)- but the diagnosis and subsequent fallout jump started the process.

A couple of weekends ago, my partner Gwenn and I celebrated our 7-year wedding anniversary. We met because she is an HIV educator, and contacted the local AIDS Service Organization back when she was in graduate school, in the hopes of partnering with someone who was young and willing to share their experiences living with HIV. Well, over the last decade-plus, I've been more than happy to share my experiences as a positoid with Gwenn. And without my HIV status, I doubt I'd ever had the opportunity to meet the most important person in my life.

I wouldn't say HIV is the best thing that ever happened to me, but I will say that many of the things I am most thankful for in my life would not have occurred without its influence.

Comments

Submitted by joey51 (not verified) on November | 15 | 2011.

Beautiful article, I'm also grateful for the support and guidance I've received being poz over 25 years, and I have recently met my greatest love. Its been a struggle,but it was worth the wait, my sexy new man, is proof of that, he is my rock, I'm truly blessed by him.

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Infected with HIV as a child through the contaminated blood products used to treat his hemophilia, Shawn learned early in life about discrimination. Within a month of testing positive for the virus, he was kicked out of the 6th grade. By all accounts, he wasn’t expected to live five years. During his freshman year of high school, he met his favorite band, Depeche Mode, through The Make-A-Wish Foundation, and lived to see graduation. At age 20, he opened up about his life with HIV after a decade of silence, creating one of the first "poz blogs" in 1996. After humorously describing his life, he caught the attention of Poz magazine and began writing a column entitled "Positoid", a word he created as a way to describe himself as someone living with HIV.

In 2006, his memoir, My Pet Virus: The True Story of a Rebel Without a Cure, was published by the Penguin Group. Today, Shawn is happily married to his wife partner, Gwenn Barringer, and the two speak together as a couple, educating about how they keep her HIV-free in their safe and healthy relationship. (Hint: condoms.)

In his spare time, Shawn drinks iced mochas and fronts a synthpop duo, Synthetic Division. In 2010, he released a CD to commemorate the twenty-year anniversary of his dying wish to meet Depeche Mode. He lives with Gwenn in Charlottesville, Virginia.